A little bling before the Ring...Hosting a glamour galore Bridal Shower!

A couple of weeks ago, I and a whole sleuth of women in my family and friends' circle got to celebrate my cousin, Jaimy's bridal shower. This shower was beautiful. It was a Bridal Shower brunch, in a classic French 'doux et chic' style. And we felt like classy women. Well at least, I did.

A bridal shower is this fun, celebratory occasion that allows the bride's close friends and family members to spend time together before the big day. It's also a practical opportunity for guests to "shower" the bride-to-be with gifts to help her establish a home with her future spouse.

Apparently, to quench my curiosity on how this tradition even began, I found out that bridal showers originated centuries ago during the days of dowries. When women wanted to marry "unsuitable" husbands, their families refused to provide a dowry, so friends of the couple gathered to pitch in and make up for the lack of a dowry by helping them set up their home.

Today, bridal showers are a time to share stories and advice, eat and drink, and pay special attention to the bride. Which I completely agree. It was such a joy for us to watch the glow on Jaimy's face as we sailed through the shower mingling, talking, playing games, taking pictures eating and drinking and just basically, having a ton of fun.

What was the best part for YOU, one might ask? Well, I was the hostess.

The fun part was that Jaimy's bridesmaids and I planned it ourselves, of course with the help of a few other cousins too. Yes, we could've hired a wedding / bridal shower coordinator/ decorator but the joys and pleasure of doing this ourselves was more exhilarating. Honestly, I was nervous, wary AND excited, all at the same time, of planning the bridal shower ourselves, especially being that we all have full time jobs, coupled with managing our respective homes, packed-tight schedules and tight budgets.

The prospect of throwing an at-home bridal shower can seem daunting – and rightfully so, as it is a lot of work. The sooner we accept that it’s far more significant and detail-oriented than our average dinner party, the better. It’s (hopefully) a once-in-a-lifetime event for the bride and it should come off as flawless. No pressure, right?

Reality check aside, if you, like myself, love to entertain, hosting an at-home bridal shower is also very rewarding. It’s incredibly fun to pick a theme, design a menu, decorate and celebrate your family member’s upcoming wedding, in this case, our baby cousin, Jaimy.

The Venue was easy - My home. However, given the COVID time, we had to be realistic about how many people the home can fit in my 3000 sq. ft home. Fortunately, out of the 40 invitations that were sent out, only 30 guests RSVP "Yes" to attending the shower. Our venue had a family room the size of a two car garage and we sat 35 comfortably in chairs (no tables). I don’t think we could have accommodated more than that.

By the way, I love To-do Lists !! I love having one for my own and more so, handing others a To-do list as well....lol. In fact, I love checking off boxes and crossing out things that I’ve completed! I know.....it sounds 'terribly OCD'!!! I guess I'm kind of. For a person who's functioned on structure and discipline for the most part of her life with work governed by calendars and schedules, it's hard to not to have checklists when organizing a Bridal shower. Because believe it or not, details in the teensiest of things matter!!! And being a person who's into the details just like her mother and father, I HAD to have my checklists which I wrote, scratched, re-wrote, scratched again and re-wrote a dozen more times till the details were finalized. I was adding and scratching things off my lists, even until D-day.

Sometimes I’ll even add something to my list that I’ve done just so I can cross it off. It might seem silly, but the science behind this is real. Every time we check something off our list, we’re triggering the release of a small amount of dopamine in the brain, which is connected to feelings of pleasure, joy, learning, and motivation. That makes us, rather ME, want to get more done and which helped me to stay motivated. Getting things done feels good!

Favors, food, drinks, music, seating, decor, the number of plates, glasses, champagne flutes, napkins and silverware needed, and more. That was just the broad list of things we outlined for the shower.

Although I insisted to handle the food and some of the decor, obviously I couldn't physically do it all, so delegation was key. Everyone I could trust was handed a responsibility, which wasn't too many people actually. Because I'm one who's always wary of the saying "Too many Cooks spoil the Broth". So realistically, we stuck to 4-5 people helping out with the shower.

The Decor and color theme was an elegant, classic French color palette - White/ Ivory, Blush Pink and Rose Gold. This beautiful color scheme set the scene and tone for the bridal shower. From the food, drinks, music, favors and decor, it was the perfect color combination to realistically execute.

Both the Maid of honor and Matron of honor figured the combination of Dusty rosy and / or Blush pink and White/Ivory would be a perfect color combination. I couldn't agree more!! Because it was my favorite color combination too. My mind was already reeling with decor ideas for the entrance, fireplace, Dessert Bar, Welcome tables and last but not the least, the Photo Booth, which I set up and decorated myself 2 weeks prior to that. I was so itching to experiment with the color combinations. A combination of tulle, floral panels, tons of georgette fabric and silk flowers of all the 3 colors worked really well through out the house. It took time and effort, but at the end, it was totally worth it. I also stripped away the Christmas florals off the wreath frames I had stored up from Christmas and covered them in dusty rose and white flowers with a splash of burgundy, to hang around the house, including my front door. It was just beautiful!!!

Table Centerpiece Decor

Grand Photo Booth

Photo Booth Props

Bridal shower floral panel

Jaimy's Matron of Honor decided to get a custom "Welcome to Jaimy's Bridal Shower" frame done, which turned out to be absolutely beautiful. Of course, we placed the frame at the foyer, by the corner, on a round decorated table. Masks and individual mini-size hand sanitizers were also laid for the guests to help themselves to, given that we were all still COVID cautious. I, on the other hand, decided to decorate a Wreath Floral stand which became the decorative centerpiece by the foyer and the welcome sign. A little creative imagination with silk florals, eucalyptus garlands and cake toppers conveyed the subtle message about the bride!!

Since my creative juices were already in full swing, I figured that I'd design and printed out custom Bridal Shower signs to be placed at different locations throughout the house to help guests navigate through. An insider tip - signs actually help guests to know what to do, without having to bark loud instructions or ground rules at them. For example, I made signs for the Mimosa Bar, Gifts for the Bride, Advices and Wishes (placed by the Gift card / Advice Box), Photo Booth, Favors, Serving ware instructions and most importantly, COVID instructions.

Do these details really matter?? One might think not, but Yes, they do!!! Although everyone was vaccinated with COVID shots, I needed to ensure we had explicit and multiple signs around the house about wearing masks and sanitizing. We had to take the necessary precautions and since it was my home, I had to be conscientious of my guests' and my concerns. Additionally, since we decided to have a buffet-style set up for food, I laid out 6-inch serving ware tongs-and-fork sets for the guests, to serve themselves. This was crucial to execute, but it worked!! Somehow, my gut instinct always nudged me to think of these little things in advance (also thanks to my mother's handy tips!) and prepare for them. What I didn't realize was that these details actually gave the guests the feeling that a professional coordinator handled the shower....hahaha! One can imagine their surprise!

When I noodled on a Brunch menu a few weeks prior, I knew it had to be a combo of breakfast and lunch bite-sized food items. There was definitely no way we could remotely consider a sit-down brunch. It was a Bridal shower after all - it's all about the bride-to-be and her most favorite women in her life who wanted to celebrate her.

However, after some serious contemplation, and obviously with some remote assistance on ideas and recipes from my mother, I settled on a brunch menu, predominantly circling around the Bride-to-be's choice of favorite foods. However, the most pertinent questions were -

Should we cater?

Or hire a chef?

Or cook them at home ourselves ?

Or do a combination of home-cooked and catered?

Although I had this elaborate spread of multiple bite-sized food items, coupled with a Mimosa bar and 'Dessert Bar" planned out in my head, realistically and in an effort to be budget-friendly, after thinking, re-thinking and then re-re-thinking through the time logistics as well as logistics for set-up, decorating, assembling the favors, food prep, and not to forget the last 30 minutes of drink-and-food assembly to keep freshness intact, we had to dwindle the Main brunch-menu down to a handful of 10 food items, which included my personalized versions of Charcuterie Board, Breakfast savory Skewers, Waffle-N-Fruit skewers, Chicken wings ( we catered 3 varieties of these from B-Dubs), Breakfast Skillet, two varieties of Street Tacos (also catered!), and of course, my mother's famous Kale and Chicken Salad. All the hot food was placed on electric food warmers so that they stayed piping hot, as guests served themselves. Another pro-tip - invest in food warmers!!!! Since it was a fancy party, I went the pro-route and placed Mini chalkboard Signs of the food and beverage items that were served, so that guests knew what they were serving themseles. My niece graciously wrote on the signboards in calligraphic style.

My mother's voice and advice kept ringing in my head, "Do what Jaimy would want. Don't forget that it's her day!!!" My mother was right. This was all about Jaimy and we made sure to bear that in mind, as the handful of us, coordinated together for her bridal shower. I could not argue with my mother on this aspect and I never would. After all, she's the pro' in our family when it comes to hosting large and fancy parties that we've had growing up; someone that I always turned to for advice and ideas, when I started hosting my own share of occasional parties for friends and family. Also, I guess I naturally picked up some of my mother's talents too, especially when it comes to the details.

By the way, have I mentioned this before about my mother being a Hostess of classic, house parties? If not, here goes. My mother. One of the most formidable and yet graceful women that I have ever known and one would ever encounter, She's a straight up person. She speaks her mind, always. Without a hinge. Along with juggling a full-time nursing career, her kids' school, making sure we did our lessons, ensuring we grew in faith with our daily prayers, and cooking healthy and nutritious meals (daily family prayer & rosary and giving us the right nutrition was the top most priority on her list always, till this very day!!!), she was the force behind making the decisions to host parties at our house, whether it was Christmas, Easter, our birthdays or our Holy Communion or Confirmation events. Decisions circling around the time, place, menu, dessert, down to the tiniest details of the event, were always centered around her sole approval. Her recipes were exquisite, elegant but more importantly, she always brought a different recipe to the menu that our guests would have never tasted before and which had an eclectic flair with a slight Indian-twist to it. If there was a pasta dish on the menu, she added an Indian spice to it to change it up or if she decided to include Potato Au Gratin on the menu, she would swap out the potato for cauliflower to come up with Cauliflower Au Gratin. She would add a twist to the classic English dish like Shepherd's Pie and it would turn out so much more amazing than the original recipe, with that kick-in-your-mouth rich flavor. She always mentioned this to me as I closely observed her and occasionally helped her, while in my teens and when she allowed me to, "Keep your guests in mind when deciding on the menu. They need to enjoy themselves and food's always the highlight because people will always remember the good food they've had at parties."

But the one thing she did do, which she never told me and I didn't know, until I caught her once, doing this on the off-chance and she didn't see me observing her, was that she always said a small prayer before she started any recipe. I didn't quite understand it then, but now as I host parties and cook dishes for my guests, I realized the importance of that tiny prayer of faith. Because when I started doing the same thing, I have seen my dishes come out uniquely more flavorful, and my guests thoroughly enjoying them and going back for more helpings. My lessons in hosting and treating guests right, all come from my mother and I know, she's my dad's pride in this aspect and many more as I've observed their marital relationship over the years. He never had to worry about any of our guests or family when it came to hosting an event or a party, whether at home or an outside venue. She made the decisions and he just rolled with it because he knew, no one could do it better than my mother.

Like my mother, I said a prayer at every aspect of planning this shower, which is probably why the tiniest detail would pop in my head and I added them onto my To-Do lists.

Did I mention we had a Mimosa Bar? Well, we decided to have Virgin Mimosa Bar. There were 2 reasons for that - One, Jaimy's mom was planning to having a non-alcoholic wedding for her daughter (she didn't think alcohol was necessary for a wedding to be 'fun') of which I was completely supportive of, and two, I am a teetotaler and didn't believe in bringing alcohol into my home. I used to drink, but it's been 4 years since I completely stopped drinking alcohol and I intended to keep it that way till my last breath on earth. Nope, not even wine!! Besides, we don't need alcohol to enjoy and celebrate the finer moments of life.

However, I also knew that an all -girl's brunch event was never complete without Mimosas. That's when I put my 'research hat' on and looked up non-alcoholic wines and Voilà! I found them!!! I settled on 2 choices for the shower - Pierre Chavin Perle Rose Non-Alcoholic Sparkling Rose Wine and Chateau De Fleur Non-alcoholic Sparkling Wine Champagne. With these 2 options, I conjured up 2 varieties of mocktail mimosas drinks - Rose' and White Grapefruit Mimosa Mocktail and Raspberry-Champagne Mimosa. It was a hit!!

Aside from the Mimosas, I figured there had to be another drink for the shower. I mean, what's a shower also, without a drink made out of everyone's breakfast beverage (Coffee or Tea) like a Latte or Cappuccino. So I whipped up a brunch-like Cappuccino Punch that guests could serve themselves off from a dispenser. If there's drink that would take us instantly to a heaven made out of chocolate and coffee, this was it!!! My only regret was WHY I never tried to make this earlier.....hahahaha! By the way, I found out later that my mother snagged this recipe of mine from my brother....pretty sly, right??

When it was agreed that the shower would be hosted at my house, I knew we HAD to have a Dessert "Sweet" Bar. After all, the girls in our family, are known for their sweet tooth and Jaimy was no exception to this. We figured it would be best to serve Assorted Sweets and Nibbles, so the bride-to-be and the guests could enjoy a variety of the Sweet-deliciousness we had planned to lay out. I got one of my cousins-in-law to get a White Vanilla Bridal Shower Cake and White Gulab Jamun Cupcakes made specifically for the occasion, as well as an assortment of Pink and White Donut holes (Donut's were Jaimy's favorite, but since we wanted to keep things bite-sized, donut holes worked perfectly!).

Since Jaimy loved the Indian-version of Rice pudding, I decided to whip out my mother's recipe and make the traditional Ambalapuzha Pal Payasam (Indian Rice Pudding) and serve it in mini dessert cups!! (PS; the link is not my mother's recipe but it comes close enough, in case you were curious).

The Maid of Honor and the Matron of Honor agreed to handle the Bridal Shower Favors for the guests. I hinted at an idea (scooped right off Instagram !!) - "Pedicure in a Jar." Which I think was the perfect gift idea for the bridal shower attendees. All we had to do was to order the various components of the favors off Amazon like Mason Jars, Mini Pedicure kits and Nail Colors, which both girls did, with emphasis on rush order delivery if needed, so that there was a cushion for couple of days delay. Then the 5 of us "bridal shower coordinators", along with Jaimy's brother, assembled them together the night before the shower. Trust me, it was so much fun just getting together to do this stuff!!

And me, being the detail-oriented person I am of course, didn't stop there. I ordered custom Bridal shower favor labels for the jars, some additional treats that accompanied the pedicure jar kits like personalized Hersey's Candy, mini tea light candles (I had these as leftovers from another event!), and Gummy bear treats (since the bride-to-be loved gummy bears!!). As I was noodling on thoughts of adding potential final touches to the favor package, I decided to get Organza bags for the candy, Gift Bags for the final assembled product and Thank you labels to spruce it all up. I added a fancy brooch, as a decorator/hostess's signature touch, for the favor.

Let's be honest - having an at-home shower means that many guests will be strangers, so I had to be conscious about greeting my guests and welcoming them to the event, especially Jaimy's future mother-in-law and other future family friends.

Even with all the planning, Time is Never on Our side, when we need it to be – so we had to be extremely realistic and overestimate how much time it is going to take to execute everything to get coordinated for the party. To make logistics easier, the bridesmaids, my handful of cousins and I made sure that everything that had to be ordered was shipped directly to my house, minus a few decorative items. I put up the harder and time-consuming decorations like swags and wreath stands, starting 2 weeks earlier. While some things, like food and beverage assembly, can only be done 30 minutes before, making favors, buying ingredients/the non-alcoholic drinks, food prep, or pulling out photos for a photo board had to be planned and done in advance. Doing this allowed us to have 'almost everything' ready as the first guest arrived. However, as more guests poured in, which was astonishingly, within a 15 minute timeframe (i.e. from 11:30 to 11:45 am), a few additional helpers (my aunt and cousin) pitched in to help out with final assembly of the Charcuterie board, pouring in the mimosas, assembling the punch and laying out food onto the food warmers.

As planned, the final guest to arrive was the bride-to-be herself, along with her Maid of Honor and Matron of Honor. It was so precious watching her glow like a school girl, watching all the people she loved and treasured under the same roof, before her very own eyes. As soon as we said pleasantries and congratulations and handed over mimosas glasses to everyone to start off the shower, half the guests headed to the food and beverage tables to grab food while mingling and talking, while the other half headed to the Photo Booth upstairs to have their pictures taken.

Okay the professional Photographer was a surprise element and a whole another story!!! We did not originally plan for a photographer for the event, but every time I talked and discussed my ideas, my dad constantly reminded me "Make sure to take pictures. There's no point in doing all this planning and fun stuff and you don't take pictures to remember this day". The more I thought about it, I realized that my father was right. But realistically would any of us be able to take pictures in the frenzy of coordinating or having fun or while the bridal shower games were going on??

Ummm, NO!!! Even if a guest had a professional camera or was designated to take pictures, there was no way we would be able to get the detail-oriented pictures of the event.

So as I kept thinking through this, going back and forth in my mind, one week before the bridal shower, I decided to look up a budget-friendly professional event photographer on Thumbtack, who would be willing to spend 3 hours and take pictures. I have to say, I was in sheer luck.

We were extremely lucky in getting a wonderful photographer, an absolute professional and a gentleman, who at the last minute, agreed to take pictures of the event, especially at the grandeur Photo booth that was set up in the upstairs living room space. He came to the house half hour before the event and set up his equipment and lights. And trust me, no matter what anyone says, I knew it was totally worth it because while the photographer did what he did best i.e. take professional pictures while everyone else could focus on just mingling, and having fun, I could focus on what I enjoyed doing the best i.e. being a good hostess.

The shower ultimately transitioned to bridal shower games like "Ring Hunt", "Bridal Pictionary" and many others that the bridesmaids had planned on. The Ring hunt was so much fun and extremely funny! Because for once, all the older womenfolk, i.e. the aunts and mother-figures, were so excitedly comical about searching and intently looking for the 30 fake Rose Gold rings I had hidden in plain sight, around the house and the family room area. It was amazing to watch them not worry about their husbands or kids for once, and rather watch them thoroughly enjoying themselves like school girls, talking and mingling, while still offering to help me. At that time, I honestly felt like the luckiest person on earth to have so many motherly and sister figures in my life.

While the games were on, we encouraged everyone to help themselves to the assorted desserts from the Dessert "Sweet" Bar and/ or grab more punch, or coffee or tea from the Coffee/ Tea beverage station I had laid out on my kitchen counter. During this time, it’s always easy for the guests to lose attention and start chatting with their seatmate. We found it helpful to have everyone write marriage tips, notes of congratulations, or funny memories of the bride-to-be on advice cards and place them in the Gift card Box that was set out. It kept everyone’s attention and made the event more sentimental.

As the event was drawing to a close and guests were starting to leave, I had Take-away Cupcake boxes and carry boxes laid out, just in case guests wanted to grab some food to take home. Clearly, most of them did. Another insider tip - make sure to have carry boxes in handy!

Though a lot of work, I found hosting an at-home bridal shower to be more intimate, cost-effective and a fun excuse to spend an entire day in the kitchen and home, especially with family and friends around. No event ever goes 100% according to plan, but if you go into the shower with a positive attitude and have fun, it will be an excellent time for all involved. '

But more importantly I thoroughly enjoyed every aspect of hosting and planning this beautiful day. It was the first event that we had all gotten together since the pandemic started. I hadn't realized how much I missed being in the company of family, until this shower. I always remind myself in prayer and thoughts to be grateful to the Lord for giving me this extended family, along with my own immediate family, to spend time with and be my support system.

#bridalshower

#cousinslove

#funwiththegirls

#bridalshowermemories

#familyloveandtogetherness