A (somewhat) Happy/ unhappy love story......Love, Action, The Proposal...!

....Part 7...contd....from Sept 20th post...

While I wish I could say there’s an exact science to meeting the parents, the only absolute in the equation is that the situation won’t be perfect, and I had to come to terms with that quickly, especially after what Mr A and I had experienced.

Honestly, in the days that followed, I remember being confused at times with my parents’ reactions, towards my relationship with Mr A. To put it more precisely, my dad seemed more relaxed after that meeting; he talked more freely about Mr A; divulging his own thoughts, now and then, about Mr A....about marriage, commitment, etc; in fact, I didn't see a shroud of negativity in my father about by my hanging out with Mr A after that.

Well, if Mr A had a goth-punk-like look, and/or pierced nose or ears, then I can imagine my father being seriously worried; my mom would have disowned me, for sure. But that was not the case here.

As I seriously contemplated that evening over and over in my head over the following days, I realized that maybe because my dad had met Mr A in person; maybe...just maybe.... he was able to relate to this guy, in the sense of just an ordinary, nice-boy-next-door kind of guy. I mean, in-person meetings do make a lot of difference.

Besides, isn't that what most dads want for their daughter?? Just a nice guy who'll take care of their little girl?

I was honestly relieved in many ways to sense my father's vibe and comfort towards Mr A. Put them in a room together and I know, they could spend hours just talking to each other and not get bored. That's how alike they were.

But my mom. Hmmmm. Being wary that I was, we didn't quite speak with each other for the next month or so, or at least, until after my internship was done and I was ready to head back home to India. Most times, she didn’t insist that I speak with her and I didn’t either. I mean we had ‘our silent, tense moments’, even before I left India. I didn’t expect it to get any better while I was in Dubai. Poor thing, my dad, always seemed to be the 'bridge' between me and mom over the following days during our phone conversations. Somehow, I chose to keep 'this' negativity issue about my mom at the back of my head, thinking I’d deal with it as it comes or as they say, ’cross that bridge when we get there.’

And trust me, that negativity hovered. Like a dark cloud.

Anyway, given that the first phase of Meet-the-parents was over with, Mr A felt it only made sense to let his parents know about me and my family immediately. So within that same week, Mr A spoke with his family, outlining about me, my family and all the relevant background details, including his meeting with my father. I was rather curious, more than nervous about what they might feel about me. I mean, the obvious questions pondered through my brain, just as it would for any girl getting introduced to her boyfriend's parents and/or family.

Will they like me?

Would they have any preconceived notions about me or my family?

More importantly, does it matter to them that I was Catholic, and not Orthodox??

To my pleasant surprise, Mr A's parents and sister were far more receptive than I expected. They loved my pictures, my family's pictures. In fact, they were thrilled and couldn't wait to meet/ speak with me and my parents, whenever we were back in India. I guess, the excitement of their only son, FINALLY, finding a bride for himself held no bounds. I too, was thrilled to know that they were excited about me. After all, they were to be my future in-laws, I thought. I wanted them to be happy for their son to be happy to be with me. But more than that, for me, it was refreshing and a sense of relief to have received a better reception from Mr A's family, than what we had both experienced from the one-half of my family a few days ago.

Aside from the partial somber mood at home arising from my mom and dad's conversation about me and my choice of life partner, things between me and Mr A were actually good; in fact it got exciting each day, for the next 42-ish days. We were ever more in love, went out on our evening dates, went shopping (which was rare), long drives to the beach which we both loved, hung out with his friends occasionally and so on.

We also learnt quite a bit about each other...each other's quirks, what ticks us off, what excites us, our unique affinity for perfumes, and so on. And ...it was refreshing to have learnt all of the things that we had gotten to know about each other over time. And yet, to want to change nothing about the other person. We didn't just want the good things about each other. We wanted it all...the quirks, the weird, the vulnerability, the pain, the love....all of it.

Because I think we both had realized that what we had was.......a choice. This was OUR choice. Each. Other.

Love — good, healthy, mature love — is not being or feeling. It’s not motivation or inspiration or being swept away or overwhelmed.

Love is an act. It’s a decision. It’s deliberate. It’s external effort and energy every day. It’s choosing and committing. It’s doing.

It’s based on you, not them.

You don't choose just anyone or everyone. You choose 'The one'. And I knew that Mr A was my 'The One'.

Mr A and I always found a reason to celebrate each other, both by ourselves and among friends. Whether it was his birthday or meeting with his extended family and cousins or just one of those casual dates in the evening or weekends. It was always felt like a celebration.

Speaking of celebrations, Mr A's birthday which was around mid-July, was quite a celebration that year; it entailed a unique 'surprise' from me and a beach party with friends. I don't think he's ever had a birthday like the one we had that year; I'm sure of it.

Strategizing for Mr A's birthday took a lot of planning; I did NOT want the 'norm' of throwing Mr A just a surprise party. It was too predictable and cliche; so I had to put some serious, creative thought into it. Because you see, Mr A had become quite smart in sensing my moves. Well, most times. And vice-versa too. Since we were so good in reading each other's thoughts and vibes so well, almost like telepathy, keeping a poker-face around Mr A during those days, leading up to his birthday, was the hardest thing that I EVER had to do.

And I wanted Mr A's birthday surprise from ME to be different.....something that he would always fondly remember. For a guy, who always gave 'his girl' the surprises, I wanted my surprise for him to be such that it said "This is Us"; something that was worth all those wonderful moments that we had spent together till then.

Especially since our impending separation was coming up shortly; my internship was coming to end in 4 weeks. Which meant that I would be headed back to India, to complete the rest of my Masters' program.

Which meant, another few months of separation for both of us.

Which also meant, it would take extra effort on both our parts to maintain long-distance relationship henceforth. Before we get hitched.

Hitched. Married. Those words rung like chime-bells in my brain!!

Anyway, as I was pondering through these thoughts, while weighing a lot of practical options and its possible ramifications, I figured that since we spent most of our time, either taking long drives to the beach or driving around, what better way than to surprise Mr A in his car. Yes!!! That was it - a mobile Birthday surprise!!!!

I planned this surprise meticulously to go down on the day before his actual birthday. Because I knew he wouldn't be expecting anything the day before. So that evening, after work, having steered events for him in such a way to ensure he stayed in his apartment, I literally over-stuffed his car with a wide range of things he loved; all except the driver's seat, was covered with cards, flowers, dress-shirts I picked out for him, a branded watch, his favorite chocolate cake, mini perfume sets - the whole schebang.

Although I spent a great deal of time deciding, planning and getting the gifts, the key to the success of this surprise was timing and making sure he headed to his car at the right time.

And boy, I nailed it !!! Because obviously Mr A was floored and smiling cheek to cheek; it was evident when he came to pick me up right after seeing his surprise and thereafter for the next 2 days.

Sometimes I wished I had hired someone to capture his reactions that very moment he saw his car. But then, drone-based cameras were unheard of in those days.

On the day of his actual birthday, we went to church that morning; his friends and I threw him a birthday party later that evening by the beach to celebrate. It really was an amazing birthday!

Not sure, if it was in response to that, but Mr A didn't waste time in surprising me yet again. This time...with a sunrise date. Yes!! Sounds different, right?

Okay, so Mr A was never a morning person; on the other hand, I was. And I still am. I would wake up every morning religiously during those days for my morning run/walk. One evening, during the week following his birthday, Mr A quite abruptly asked me to wake him up at 5am the next morning, so that he could join me during my usual morning run. It was a weekday. I thought that was odd, knowing too well how he enjoyed his sleep into the mornings. In fact, I even asked him why. He just responded with a sly smile, "Just because....".

Hmmm, that's strange, I thought. But I agreed to oblige and woke him up the next morning at 4:45 am. He said he would pick me up in his car, so I shouldn't just head running as I normally would. I asked him again if he was sure about this. And without a hint of hesitation, he said that he was.

Okay, I thought.

I still dressed up in my usual sweats that morning, assuming that Mr A probably had an awakening moment and decided to join the "workout bandwagon" to join me for a run or a walk, wherever we might be headed to.

Anyway, he came by in his car at 5 am, picked me up and before I knew it, Mr A was steering his car towards the beach, our usual spot. When we got there, I asked him why he had brought us to the beach so early that morning. He smiled and said, "Just like that. Thought we'll see the sun come up together." I stared at him and then smiled.

I would have NEVER expected THAT in my wildest dreams!!!

Mr A knew how much I absolutely loved the first rays of dawn and sunrise, especially the mixture of yellow and orange on the horizon beneath a dark neon blue sea of night that would have begun to evaporate. It was always and still is, my favourite part of my mornings. But I never EVER imagined him, asking me to join him to watch the sunrise. Especially for someone who, by nature, was not an early riser.

Mr A took hold of my hand and we walked for quite a bit along the jogger's pathway, adjoining to the beach. I was getting secretly emotional, looking down, feeling the tears well up at the base of my throat, thinking how much I loved this man, but also knowing quite well and feeling the love he had for me. For him to put in that effort to give me the slightest hint of joys that he possibly could; the memories of it all; I couldn't have asked for anything better.

Memories.

In less than 2 months, he had given me a sack full of them to reminisce on for a long time. And possibly for forever.

Yes, what we had was deep Love. And yes, some might think 'this is silly'.

But that's just it!

Deep love is silly. It’s about being so incredibly weird with another person that you both would never be that weird in front of anyone else. It’s slow dancing in the kitchen for absolutely no reason. It’s laughing so hard you lose your breath. It’s strange, and it’s funny, and it’s something the both of you don’t even really understand, but would rather not be without. Because one thing you both understand is that your lives are better with each other in them.

Deep love is attempting to understand the things the other person’s mind thinks and your mind doesn’t; it’s being inspired by them. It’s wondering how you found this person whose differences compliments yours. Because differences are normally things that tear people apart, but in deep love your differences bring you closer together. It’s like the things you both find unfamiliar about each other somehow mould together and form this beautiful little mess and that mess somehow fits perfectly between the cracks inside your heart you never knew how to fill. Deep love fills those cracks without making you forget that they exist. Deep love allows you to remember the past and how hard it might’ve been, and then it allows you to feel grateful for what you have now. Deep love makes you feel lucky for finding it.

And boy, did I feel lucky that morning!! It was a weekday; Mr A and I both had to work that day; I knew that he did NOT have to do this. And yet he took the effort and did this.....just for me.

Could I have had it any better? I don't think so.

After awhile, we sat down on a beach bench next to each other, still holding hands, looking out at the wide open expanse of sky and water merging before us; about twenty minutes later, the sunrise had become even more beautiful as the sun peeked over the horizon. The sky had now become pink like a sea of cotton candy, with the light of the sun coloring the clouds above with a pinkish hue. As the sun slowly ascended, the sky in the west became a deep neon blue as the light reached further out. It was breathtaking!!

And between us........it was complete silence! So much so that, one could possibly hear a pin drop, had they passed by.

Oddly enough, given the surplus of emotions swarming through me, I just blurted out in that instant, "I can't wait to be married to you."

And I looked at him. He looked at me.....smiled back at me with such depth in his eyes, while squeezing my hand.

I looked at him straight in the eye, with confidence and said further, "I don't care what people say or what my family thinks; I don't care even if its copper or bronze, but I'm leaving Dubai only when you put a ring on my finger. Period."

He smiled even more and kept staring at me. Knowing that he still looked at me, I looked back out at the water, watching the sun ascend further up and the beautiful mix of colors unfolding in the horizon before me. He didn't say anything; I didn't expect him to. But from the corner of my eye, I could sense his eyes following me and still looking at me intently.

Here’s something that most people will be too afraid to tell you:

A man who is in love will commit immediately, and without hesitation. The only way you can tell that you are “meant to be” with someone is whether or not you are actually with them right here, right now.

The person you are meant to be with will NOT put you on hold.

It’s not that they are walking down the aisle on day 89, it’s that by that time they know you are the person they could see spending their life with, and they’re comfortable enough with that to continue to pursue a relationship with you.

Someone who truly wants to be with you will do whatever they can, however they can, to make your relationship happen. They will defy any odd, resist any temptation, and disregard bullshit like timing and age and distance. That’s what real love does. It rearranges reality around it. In fact, someone who is truly in love with you will fear nothing more than losing you.

I think at many levels, Mr A and I both had that ‘fear‘. We didn't want to lose each other. Sometimes we talked about it and sometimes we chose not to. But we didn’t let it ruin our present.

We sat silently for maybe a half hour more and then realized it was time to head back since we both had to go to work. We drove back in silence; he held my hand the whole time we drove back and then dropped me off.

That morning, hands down, was the best date I've had till today!

In fact after that day, we never actually talked about what I had said about having a ring on my finger. We never talked about a fancy proposal or what kind of ring I wanted or any of the material things that to-be-engaged/engaged couples today seem to find so relevant. Those things, somehow, never mattered to either of us. We just never talked about it. Period. We never discussed it. It never even came up in a passing conversation. What mattered to us was 'Us'. And we both knew it that morning. For some reason, I knew Mr A would put a ring on me, but when, how and where, I had no clue. I didn't care. I never asked.

As the weeks went by and my internship was drawing to a close, Mr A felt it necessary that I meet with every one of his family and cousins in Dubai. We did dinners, lunches, casual coffee meetings. It was so much fun getting to know his side of the family. Really. They were all excited for both of us, constantly telling us that we looked like we were 'made for each other'. How does one tell, other than the couple themselves? Who knows.

On the flipside, my mother started stressing both of us, my dad and his family about wedding-related questions -

Will there be an official engagement?

What's a potential date for the wedding?

Where will the wedding be?

Are y'all attending a marriage preparation course?

Blah, blah, blah.

Mr A couldn't be bothered with the details. In fact, he found himself getting irritated and getting a real sense of how stressful my mom could be. Hey, I warned the guy. Whenever my mom would relate that it's important for me and Mr A to make these wedding decisions, Mr A would constantly remind me to let the parents handle those wedding planning decisions. Besides, we still had time for that. He was right. There was time. Why were we all stressing over this now?. I don't know.

At times I felt like a bouncy ball between Mr A and my mom, when it came to the wedding planning.

Honestly, even I couldn't be bothered with the details either. But an Indian daughter's immense guilt of depriving her mom of having a say in her life-partner choice, started weighing on me. I loved my mom a lot; I tried to explain that to Mr A; he knew where I was coming from, but in all honesty, her persistent questioning was really stressing us all out and his family too. And neither of us were liking it one bit.

However, I'd known my mom for too long to have aced the art of ignoring her desires.

Mr A didn't. He had a lot to learn.

Dad and I spent the last week of my stay in Dubai, shopping and packing for our trip back home; I wrapped up my internship and prepared my project reports to submit it at school in India. Mr A and I spent as much as time as we possibly could during that last week. I think we were both getting randomly hit with anxiety spasms, just thinking that we were not going to be able to see other every day like we had gotten used to.

Funny, how we become so used to someone and something so good and so fast. Almost like, it's now a part of us. And to suddenly have it ripped away.

About 3 days prior to my flight back home, Mr A said that we were to have dinner with both of his best buddies, Sam and Mike. I agreed. I mean after all, these guys were his best friends and were important to him, just like Moon was to me. But he said we would meet them a little later that evening at 8pm.

"Okay, so what do we do until then? We have like 3 hours to kill", I asked.

"Let's go to the beach," he said. I shrugged and agreed.

I honestly looked forward to it. After all, it was our favorite place in the world. How could I say no to that. We stayed in the car for a bit, before we got out and walked. We rolled up our jeans as usual, with my sandals on one hand and Mr A holding my other hand, we walked.

After walking for awhile, I wanted to sit at the benches. But Mr A seemed very persistent that we head up to the rocks by the Burj; I was in no mood for it. Interestingly, he never usually pushed me to ever head to the rocks before. I wonder why now, I thought. Anyway I quickly brushed the curious thought aside. I just wanted to sit and stare out at the sea. And he agreed.

We sat down, looking out at the setting sun, with the sky changing colors from minute to minute. From orange yellow to flamboyant pink, the clouds painted with changing colours as the sun was heading down.

"I'll miss this," I said.

"I know. Me too. It won't be the same coming here without you" , Mr A said.

I looked up at him. He seemed different that day; his eyes looked different, usually I could sense his depth, but this time along with depth, I felt this lingering sense of longing, compassion &...happiness all rolled into them. I thought I almost noticed tears forming around the corner of his eyes, but then he looked away. I guess when you know you'll miss someone so bad, it starts to hurt sooner than we can imagine. We stared back out at the sea, and I rested my head on his upper arm, cradling his elbows in my hands, just taking in all of the emotions and feelings we were sensing between us then.

After a few moments, from the corner of my eye, I noticed Mr A bring up something in his other hand, slightly shaking, towards me. I turned my head to take a better look and saw what looked like a tiny white box. He didn't say anything. Not a word. He just stared at me, smiling.

For a second, it didn't even register in my brain what could possibly be in the box. I just looked at the box and then at him. I remember feeling curious and probably had this obvious curious look on my face, as I normally would.

Because at that moment, I had realized that his other hand had been tucked away in his pocket, the whole time as we walked along the beach.

It took me a few moments to understand what was going on, until he opened the box and I saw what was inside. That's when it hit me.

OMG!!!! Mr A was proposing.

Shock registering through my nerves in spasms, hands covering my mouth and with tears swelling up both my throat and eyes, I looked at him. And once again, inside the box.

The most beautiful white-gold ring that I had ever seen, was inside. The centre of the ring was heart-shaped with a tiny diamond in the centre of the heart, entwining the entire setting in an infinity design. It was perfect!

At that moment, Mr A said, "Well.....Will you?"

He didn't even ask me the entire question. It wasn't his style. But I knew what he was asking. At that moment I couldn't even find the slightest array of words to say or express what I was feeling; I was crying. As I nodded a big Yes, Mr A slowly grabbed my left hand, smiling at me, he slipped the ring onto my ring finger.

The very next instant, as I hugged him, he kissed me on my forehead. And talk about telepathic vibes between us, but we both synchronously said the exact same words for the very first time out loud to each other, "I love you."

Yes. We were finally, ENGAGED!!! And that too, 6 months from the day I saw Mr A's picture for the first time on my computer.

....Stay tuned for the continuing story in Part 8........

#openlife

#real-lifelove

#treasuretheoneyoulove