Are 40's the New 20's????

Dedicated to my most favorite girls in the world - @ RM @STP @MB @VV @PT (names abbreviated for privacy purposes)

About over a month ago I had the chance to catch up with a few girlfriends on a Friday night over dinner, followed by a "Night on the Town" to celebrate my cousin's 40th birthday.

It was really intimate and small; just three mature and likeminded girls (mind the term I'm using here..... 'girls' and not 'women') having the time of their life, just talking, catching up and discussing every possible topic that we could talk about, ranging from my "still-at-first-gear" dating rendezvous' (some of which are really hilarious, by the way), to sex to life's daily mental and general women issues to the latest Brazilian wax techniques.

As we were enjoying our 3-course meal of drinks, appetizers and dinner and feeling confident and sexy in our night-on-the-town outfits, I looked around the table at my two girlfriends (yes, one of them is my cousin too), as we chatted away. And I couldn't help but think how proud, blessed and grateful I am to have gotten to know and be in the company of these amazing women who obviously, wear and juggle many different hats currently in their lives, like I do, such as daughter, wife, mom, sister, friend, career women, and possibly many more, and yet, each 'hat' so different for each person, and still stay sane while keeping themselves real. But more than anything, having a support system of like-minded and immensely strong women like these two is what I’m the most grateful for everyday in my life. And not just them, but everyone of my other three favorite girlfriends, including my best friend Moon, who all possibly blazed through their 20s like I did, sailed through their rocky 30s, trying to keep their heads above water the whole time, just like I did. And finally to land in their 40s with this bang of an announcement that screams nothing less but "Hey there 40s, I've Arrived. I'm Here. And I'm Rocking This!!!"

And here's why I ABSOLUTELY resonate with that feeling.....

....our 20s are a funny old time. We bob about like a lost cork in choppy seas, amid waves of work drama, fickle friendships and financial uncertainty. Like any crisis, at the time it feels fine. But afterwards, you look back and think, “wow, how in blazing hell did I survive that?”

And if we thought 30s were going to be better.....well Hellllloooooo....No Way!!

Your 20s are hard, but being in your 30s presents a whole new set of challenges. People in their 30s are expected to achieve more and find themselves going down life paths different from their friends'. The transition from 20-something to 30-something contains both major learning pains and liberating realizations. Because...

One, everyone is no longer going through the same thing at the same time.

Two, there's a lot more pressure to achieve — and compete.

Three, self-awareness exists where there once was self-indulgence, and

Four, the worst of it all, for women....... Age is suddenly a 'thing'!!!!! All of a sudden, there's this feeling to compete with other women or meet some 'psych-yourself-out' expectations to have a career, get married and have kids before you get to the next milestone birthday.

But in truth, none of the above so-called life goals matter by the time you hit your 40s. It's true!!!

In fact there is a revolution happening, as 40 year old women like myself and my girlfriends are embracing our 40th milestone age. And quite so honestly, younger women are looking forward to reaching this milestone. Which completely makes sense now.

When it comes to relationships, as a youngster, every break-up has the power to wind you: punching you in the gut and rendering you a teary, chocolate-chomping cliché. It’s not like this pain gets any less when you’re in your 30s, but you become more familiar with it. But in your 40s…… in the grand old therapeutic tradition, you can welcome it in like an old (slightly crap) friend. Sure it will mess with your head for a while, but you know eventually it’ll quieten and leave. But what sticks with you is the confidence and the resilience you had and continue to have in spite of the heartache in your relationships. You are not in a hurry for anything....if you're single, you are happy to remain single. If you're married with kids, you're happy with where you are and have settled mentally in your brain and heart with contentment regarding your spouse and kids. And that, my wonderful ladies, is an absolutely beautiful feeling of acceptance! I'm still single and I have no kids. But I know now that I'm not in a rush to get to the altar or having kids any time soon. In fact, I've finally accepted that I. AM. ACTUALLY. HAPPY. And maybe, just maybe, being single and childless is what makes me feel 'ME'. And I'll take that any day.....

Now when it comes to your friends. Flaky friends - they’re just not a 'thing' anymore. You get to an age where you have it with those people who leave you hanging with power games. You’re now old enough that you can spot a manipulator at a hundred yards and you’re confident enough to cut them out. The same goes for annoying relatives. We all know you should live your life with the people who count, but in your 40s you actually do it. Take it from me - the 'true and real' friendships and the friends we cultivate in our 40s are the ones that stay. They're who and what keeps us sane, going and inspired to make it through the day and the next and the next.....

Another crucial reality - once you've hit your 40s, we make peace with our former worst enemy – the MIRROR. That item no longer has to power to hold us hostage or make us feel unworthy of love and loyalty. We accept the reality that things sag, flesh droop, stretch marks, blemishes and cystic acne are battle scars to be proud of and not condemned. Your body is your temple and you take better care of it and also know that it may not be perfect, but it is perfectly imperfect the way it is.

At the start of this year, I decided to shift my focus back to my health, but this time with a change - to take hold of the reins on my Mental health, along with my physical health. The more I focused on both elements, the confidence and the energy I realized that I was exhuming out had no boundaries. Please don't get me wrong - I'm not raring to go and gung-ho all day, every day. I just listen to my mind, my heart and my body all at the same time and I pace myself. I'm not the kick-ass kickboxer or fitness freak that I used to be 5 years ago. But I'm in a far better place, and frame of mind than I've ever been. And quite honestly, that shows and I know it shows and I'm proud of it.....

Because at the age of 40, we women are really coming into the full understanding of our true value and capable abilities. We are living life without apologies, without societal stigma’s and doing everything that makes 'Us' happy without approval from anyone. Just look at the women around you who are 40 and above. There is a sense of self appreciation and self awareness that they possess.

Call it impatience or perhaps a clearer sense that life is short, but in your 40s, you start making room in your life for the things that really matter. Sure, work is great but you have the confidence to clip its wings for a while, too. You become more ambitious about different qualities in life: people, time, adventures. This all comes down to the old saying: “It’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”

In your 20s, you’re so busy living life and tackling challenges that you don’t think about the why. Fast-forward to your 40s, and you’ve developed that steel that says: I’ve messed around long enough; now I’ll do what I like and I’ll do it well. Whether it is taking that much-needed cruise to the Bahamas or zip-lining in Guatemala or hitting the beaches in Greece: whatever it is you want to do, in your 40s, you’ll dive right in.

If there is any indication that 40 is the new 20, look at Halle Berry, Demi Moore, Jennifer Lopez, or Uma Thurman. These women look absolutely amazing and could probably rival the bodies of some 20 year old women. Their confidence is amazing! In fact it is their confidence that makes them more attractive to men and women alike. That’s the key - confidence. And such confidence that CANNOT be shattered by anything or anyone. Gone are the days of thinking that life ends at 40. From the looks of how these gorgeous women are living, it seems that 40 is when life actually begins. The motto should be, “Live, Laugh, Love.” Now why do we question why the 40’s are the new 20’s? Cheers to happiness and amazing joy.

#40sisthenew20s

#stayhealthystaystrong

#confidence #healthybodyandmind